Billionaires Republican Manifesto

Stick to the Script.
You’ll get your talking points from the Party on a daily basis. Leave ideas to us and the think tanks we finance. Only talk to Fox News. Stick to the script and your re-election funding, jobs and retirement, will be taken care of. Break ranks with the Party, or disobey any edict of this manifesto, and you will not only lose these benefits, but are likely to remain unemployed for a very long time.
Just Say No. Shut Down Debate.
We pay you to represent us. Never offer alternatives or negotiate compromise. That’s for the weaker party to do. How can True Americans debate Socialists sworn to create a One World Government? Leave debating to the East Coast elites. If you think you are being paid to go to DC to negotiate, or to represent a fictitious truth or welfare-guzzling constituent, you are in the wrong political party. Vote to filibuster when you are told to. Voting against the Party is a fireable offense. Democrat-sponsored Town Halls on subjects like health care are great places for our supporters to shout down, disrupt, and intimidate incumbents.
Facts Do Not Matter.
What matters is what we pay you to say. Stick to the script. Your job is not to sweat the facts. They don’t matter. If you think they do you are in the wrong profession.
Never Admit to a Lie.
As Newt Gingrich advised, never admit to a lie. Go on the attack. The liberal media will oppose us with facts and reason. If all else fails, note that there are two sides to every story, and you have as much right to your opinion as your Democratic detail-obsessed, wonky, unmanly opponent.
Real Americans Are Angry
Anger is what counts. Republicans are in touch with what we Real Americans feel, and it is anger. The liberals and lamestream media will try to trip Real Americans up with facts about why we should not be angry at Washington, but we know better. They are stealing our country and taking us down the road to socialism, communism, fascism, and terrorism. Of course we are angry.
Fear Motivates. Use It.
Real Americans are suffering. We the Party that hears it, the Party willing to stand up for the Real Americans, against the Muslim terrorists, illegal immigrants, unions demanding extended unemployment benefits, gays wanting to destroy marriage, atheists replacing God with Big Government, and welfare cheats stealing the elections.
Keep It Simple Stupid
Some situations, like offshore corporate tax havens, are so complex that only liberals from elite East Coast colleges can understand them. That’s their problem! Real Americans don’t need to worry things that can’t be explained in a sound byte. Keep it simple. Democrats are the tax and spend party. It’s Your Money. Beware the Death Tax. And ObamaCare Death panels. Obama is an illegal alien and a terrorist-supporting Muslim. These are the simple issues that common sense, Real Americans want to talk about.
We Own Fox News. Use It
The lamestream media are your enemies. They are liberals who will ambush you with so-called facts. Do not allow them to interview you. We own Fox News. They are on your side and speak to Real Americans. Use them. For those who don’t watch Fox, we’ll spend hundreds of millions of dollars in anonymous attack ads on the other networks to get your message across in 30 second segments. That’s all the media you need.
Class Warfare is the Redistribution of Wealth. But Not When We Do It.
A vote to tax the richest 1% is a vote against all Real Americans. Freeloaders want more of our money and it’s un-American. Companies need more tax cuts and less regulation of banks and oil drilling and insurance companies so we can lower health insurance premiums and create more jobs right here at home, like we did for eight years under President Bush. We’ve come a long way in redistributing wealth to where it should be, with the wealthiest 1% having taken three quarters of all the increase in American income since Bush Jr. was elected. But they’re waging war now: Obama has lowered taxes for 95% of Americans, and luckily, thanks to our influence on the media, most voters have no idea of this. But now he wants us billionaires to pay tax increases, to rates that we haven’t seen since Clinton was President. That’s class warfare, and we can’t let the Socialists win!
Peace is Un-American.
The business of America is war. Unlike the Democratic peaceniks who do not believe the terrorists intend to do us harm, Republicans honor our troops and those who have died by keeping war and its related industries alive. War is the best form of peace, and anyone who challenges this is anti-American. Obama hates a strong military because he is a traitor who will not rest until his Muslim terrorist allies have won.
Defend Our Constitution by Defending Guns.
The only Constitutional right that matters is the Right to Bear Arms. Obama’s top secret One World Government may be creating internment camps and hiring armies of minorities at this very moment, with plans to take away all our guns. The Right to Bear Arms is the only thing protecting us from One World Government, run by the Muslims.
Own The Language and Start Rumors.
Redefine liberals as radical communists; moderates as socialist liberals; and reactionaries as mainstream, Real Americans, so that the entire spectrum shifts to the right. Start as many attack rumors as possible, saying things such as: "this could be true...who knows?" Fox News will report it, and the mainstream media will repeat it.
Deficits Only Matter When We Say They Do.
Reagan called Democrats the tax and spend party and then doubled 200 years of federal debt in just eight years. Bush, Jr. took the greatest budget surplus in history and turned it into a deficit just as large. These deficits did not matter because the money went to the military and privatized services and neither of these Real American leaders raised taxes to pay for their deficits. But when Democrats want money for wasteful spending like extending unemployment benefits, they’re increasing the deficit by re-distributing wealth to so-called needy people.Tell them NO!
Separation of Church and State is Un-American.
Separation of church and state is not in the Constitution. It is un-American Godless atheism to suggest it is. Use Christianity and God to add moral and spiritual power to our authority. Denounce judicial activists who hate God and prayer in school.
Scientists Do Not Finance Your Campaigns. We Do.
Evolution and environmentalism are Big Government judicial power grabs promoted by the Godless, anti-Christian liberals and their Muslim ally in the White House. We need to abolish the EPA! And the Department of Education. Leave things that matter to the States, and the corporations like those that we own, which provide jobs drilling and distributing oil gas. We need energy independence. Drill, baby drill.
Government is Bad. Government Money and Privatization Are Good.
Privatization is essential if America is to prosper. Even when it costs more. Never forget that the government cannot do trusted to do anything right. Since Dick Cheney was Secretary of Defense great progress has been made. More than half the CIA’s budget now goes to private contractors. Blackwater is thriving. Private prison companies efficiently bankrolled the Arizona anti-immigration bill. So what if a can of Pepsi costs $4 bucks in Iraq? This money is flowing through private hands, not government bureaucrats. The only salary Big Government should be paying is yours!